Would you tell us about some of the classic wedding traditions you wanted to include in the ceremony? 

The great part of a gay wedding is you can pick what you like and ditch what you don't of classic wedding traditions. What you are left with is a fabulous wedding tailored to you.  We love our parents so much, so it was important to us to feature them in our wedding. Our parents walked us each down the aisle. It was one of the most tender moments of the day.  We chose to light a unity candle for our ceremony (it almost blew out!). The symbolic nature of joining or uniting our lives in an everlasting flame is something we really loved.

Our mother-son dance had a bit of flair to it. 30-seconds in to the sweet, slow dance, the record scratched and we busted out a choreographed 3-minute medley. From The Twist to Solja Boy to Michael Jackson’s Thriller, we took the crowd by surprise with a let loose dance with our moms. It finished with us leading the crowd to the boat for our sunset cruise over the Puget Sound for dancing and more drinks!

How did you decide as a couple which rituals and traditions you would include?

We found a great book called The Distinctive Wedding Ceremony by Rev. Mary Calhoun, a local Seattle author who describes her book as "an extensive guide for both same-sex and opposite sex couples wishing to design a unique, seamless, and memorable ceremony".  We also had the advice of an experienced wedding planner, which was varied. Remember, its your day, so freely veto and modify the advice you receive and make your wedding your own. You only do this once!

In what way did some of the traditional elements of the ceremony create lasting memories and significance for both of you?

 Writing our own vows was the most significant tradition we followed. And, we would highly recommend this to every couple. It is the most personal moment of the day and lifetime as you’re looking into each other’s eyes and making a promise for a lifetime. It is such a privilege and such a pivotal moment in your life.  We still watch our wedding video almost weekly and the vows put us in tears everytime.  I can still feel the intensity and intimacy of the day.

Can you give us a few examples of ways you personalized your wedding? 

We had a designer create an emblem or family crest for us.  Our "branding" was on everything from our save-the-date to our invite to our printed material at the wedding, to wedding favors and now on our stationary and Christmas cards. It's a familiar symbol of our union that each of our wedding attendees remembers, and we hope that when they see this every year on our stationary and Christmas card that they remember they are a part of our union.

Chartering an Argossy boat to deliver our guests to our venue was really unique, both as an experience but also because it showcased the best the Northwest has to offer - the ocean, the seagulls, the islands of the Puget Sound and the summer sun.  And, we cannot forget the burlesque dancer! We saw her in Seattle on one of our first dates and she was amazing. It was a gay wedding – so anything goes - and we really loved the irony of feather fans and pasties in our fathers' faces at their gay sons’ wedding.  It was certainly an unexpected and personal way to kick off the dance floor on the boat cruise back to Seattle.

Were there things you wished you would of done, but decided against doing because you thought they might not be received well? 

We didn't hold back on very much, but we will mention what we almost didn't do, and for sure would have regretted had we not: THE VIDEO!  To be able to see the look in each other’s eyes and hear the tenderness in our voices on that day – to be able to re-live that day forever – we are SO grateful we did it. Invest in the video!

Venue:
Brian and Ty were married at Kiana Lodge in Poulsbo, Washington.

Flowers: 
Flowers were beautifully created by Bethany at Changing Seasons Florist in Bainbridge Village, WA.

Videographer: 
Thanks to Dani Warner of Pixel Dust Productions for the beautiful wedding video.

Photographer: 
A special thanks to Sarah Layne Photographer for sharing all their wonderful photos from the wedding. Read and see more about Brian & Ty's wedding on her blog.

Click below to read our articles for the April "Ritual or Rebellion" edition of Men's Vows

Ritual or Rebellion

The Ring Conundrum: When Two Type A's Wed

Pointers from an Unconventional Officiant

Breathtaking Honeymoon Destinations

The Gift of Receiving

Style Guide: Ritual or Rebellion