Mathew & Carter: Wedding Wisdom
“We both spent years at California State University, Fullerton earning our degrees in the arts. Carter was getting his Masters degree in music and I was earning my degree in theatre. Both majors shared the same building and we crossed paths almost on a daily basis; however, we did not meet this way. It was Tinder that brought us together.”
Mathew & Carter started casually chatting on the dating app, and continued to do so for over a month. Eventually, Mathew decided that he would start sending video questions, and to his surprise he received a few responses back! “It was simple; the videos would consist of answering a question and then following up with another one to send. This is how we learned about each other’s families, jobs, goals and dreams.”
After talking extensively over their video questions, the two decided they would finally meet the day before Christmas Eve. “I picked him up from his studio in Huntington Beach and we went to BJ’s on main street.” Carter said.
Matthew continued, “We will forever be haunted by the fact that our first date was at BJ’s. We’ve heard it all: ‘I’m sure there were more BJs later.’ … ‘Of course you two ate there!’”
“After we ate we got ice cream at this little gelato place and walked the pier. I was cold so Mathew gave me his jacket, it was really sweet.”
“Yes, I am quite the charmer. I’d also like to point out that we had been talking for months via video chat so our conversation was really casual. It instantly felt comfortable, and that allowed us to dive deeper into conversation rather than an evening filled with small talk. When we got to the end of the pier Carter leaned into me and said ‘I think this is a point one for Tinder, what do you think?’”
The date continued into the night as they headed back to Mathew’s place. “We watched the Nightmare Before Christmas… Well at least the first few songs.” Their love for their families and their similar goals of having a family of their own one day brought them together at first. Everything just seemed to fall into place from the beginning.
They quickly planned their second date, but Mathew called last minute to cancel because his car’s brakes gave out just the night before. “I wasn’t sure if he was making excuses or not and I wasn’t going to let him get off the hook that easy.” Carter laughed.
“Oh stop. When I called him to tell him that my car needed to go to the shop he offered to drive out from Santa Ana to Huntington Beach to drive me to the car shop. The fact that he was willing to help me, even just after one date, was really incredible.”
Mathew let it slip during the first date that he had never seen the Star Wars movies, so Carter did him the favor of bringing all of the films over to his place. Carter drove Mathew to drop his car off at the shop, went to Sushi on Fire to get a “Galaxy Roll”, fittingly, and returned back to Mathew’s studio apartment to watch 4 of the Star Wars movies before the car was finished being repaired. “It takes a certain connection between two people to be able to spend an entire day like that, doing nothing. It was an amazing date and I think that day is what pushed us to the next level.”
Their relationship flourished as they began to spend more and more time together. Weeks became months, and everything just flowed together. Mathew and Carter can’t remember who specifically said “I love you” first, as that language just naturally became a part of their vocabulary and dialogue with one another. Sometimes when you know, you just know!
How did Mathew propose to Carter? Well, that’s kind of a crazy story. “So a big part of our relationship consisted of us watching the HGTV show “Fixer Upper” with stars Chip and Joanna Gaines. As we were getting more serious we both felt an engagement in the near future. I started thinking of ways to pop the question. During the process, I just so happened to tweet Chip Gaines something funny. I mean it was probably hilarious… because I am hilarious.” Chip, seeing the tweet, connected Mathew with his assistant, Beth Chiles to send him some swag. “I told Beth that I wanted to propose to Carter and wanted Chip and Joanna to somehow play a part in the matter. Chip and Jo have a place in Waco Texas called ‘Magnolia’ and it’s like Disneyland for home decorators. It was a dream of ours to go out there to see it one day. I thought that maybe if I got Carter there I could have Chip and Jo pop out of a bush and yell ‘SURPRISE!’ Beth talked to Chip about my idea and although he couldn’t find the time to yell SURPRISE, he decided to show his love in another way: The Gaines’ decided to send Carter and I to Waco Texas… all expenses paid. Beth even arranged for a private tour of the property knowing that once we got to the top of the building I was going to pop the question. It was a dream come true. I had to convince Carter that Chip Gaines was sending us out to Waco because we were such big fans. I still don’t understand why he believed me, but thank God that he did.”
Nerves running, Mathew and Carter arrived in Waco Texas, with a heatwave greeting them as they stepped off the plane. “When it came time for our tour early in the morning I was so nervous. I wanted everything to be perfect. We had two tour guides that both were in on the plan. When we finally got up to the rooftop of Magnolia I got down on one knee and popped the question. I was so nervous that I pt the ring on the wrong finger.”
“I couldn’t believe it. I was in shock! I spent the rest of the tour just staring at my ring in disbelief. I had never seen a wooden ring before and thought it was the coolest thing.”
Later that evening, Mathew and Carter drove by the Gaines’ farmhouse and took pictures across the street from the property. “It was just us two, on the side of a country road, at dusk with a camera on our car shooting away. It was like a scene out of a movie. We ended up using those photos for our engagement announcement.”
Without hesitation, they set their wedding date for October 13th, 2018 at the Historic Seven Sycamores Ranch in Ivanhoe, California. Wedding planning, particularly the last few weeks leading up to thee wedding provided an intense mix of emotion. Receiving word from several family members that they could not support a gay wedding, Mathew and Carter were left to grapple with the news. “It was really rough actually. It was a horrible blend of being so excited, and depressed at the same time. We kept moving forward and hoped for a good turnout.”
The news spread around to those attending the wedding, and as the celebration began everyone there went out of their way to show their love and support. “I soon realized that it wasn’t about having a room full of people; it was about having a room full of love. Love was plentiful that night.” Mathew explained.
The grooms stood hand in hand as they read their vows amongst their closest friends and family. One vow read, “I spent my whole life telling myself that everything is temporary. That shitty feeling inside — it’s temporary. This shitty apartment — it’s temporary. This shitty job — it’s temporary. I told myself that everything was temporary just so that I had something to look forward to. The moment I met Carter, I stopped doing that. That shitty feeling went away and I was happy. He taught me to challenge myself and I moved up. He brought me into his house and together we built a home. I stopped telling myself that everything was temporary and started telling myself I hope this lasts forever.”
After a kiss to seal the deal, the newlyweds walked down the aisle to face their first challenge together as husbands… cutting the cake, both referring to it as the knife incident.
“In the midst of planning our wedding I had forgotten to buy us a fancy cake-cutting knife. Or any cake cutter for that matter. So, when it came time to cut the cake all we had were giant steak knives. When Carter went to feed me my piece of cake, he decided to feed it to me off of the steak knife, jamming the blade into my mouth. It was embarrassing and slightly painful but the pictures are hysterical. Definitely a silly moment to remember!”
The evening continued with dancing, great conversation, and plenty of love to go around. After the celebration, Mathew and Carter escaped to Oahu, Hawaii where they experienced paradise from Disney’s Aulani Resort. Exploring coral reefs and waterfalls by day, and gazing into the glistening blue ocean from a double-decker infinity Jacuzzi, it could not have been better.
When asked what advice they would give others planning their own wedding, Mathew responded, “Be considerate of your wedding party. Don’t be a financial burden on them. We tried our hardest to keep costs low for them and they were so thankful for it. Also, keep the pacing of your wedding steady. Don’t leave your guests waiting around! Get those drinks flowing and the music poppin’!”
Now husbands, Mathew and Carter live together in Stanton, California. You can follow their decorating adventures at @DecoratingOnDimes.
Photographer: Dani M Photographs , @Danimphotographs
Decorating on Dimes: https://www.decoratingondimes.com/
Chip & Joanna Gaines: https://magnolia.com/
