Aaron & Jeff: Love Can't Be Denied
Jeff and Aaron met like many other couples typically do today - online. But, that’s where them being a typical couple ended. Despite being a mere 64% match on OKCupid, they defied the algorithm and clicked on each other’s profile anyway. A first date of left-overs gave way to an engagement in Cinque Terre, Italy. And, when it came time to look for a venue, the unexpected happened: they were denied a wedding venue on the basis of their sexuality. After news of this came out, the community in Dallas rallied around them and did everything they possibly could to throw them a dream wedding to remember. We at Men’s Vows are proud to share this story about love, unity, and a community that stands for equality. We are committed to sharing Jeff and Aaron’s story so that what is typical for every couple who wishes to get married is unwavering support by everyone around them.
“We had leftover enchiladas for dinner on our first date,” Jeff said. “There wasn't much open that day due to the ice storm and I had made enchiladas for dinner the night before and was planning a quiet dinner of leftovers alone and asked if he wanted to join me. I obviously wasn't trying very hard to impress him, but he will tell you the enchiladas really won him over. We still have those enchiladas on the anniversary of our first date every year.” The date went much better than expected and from there the relationship moved quite quickly. They went on a 2-week camping trip to Southern Utah and Arizona after dating for only about 3 and a half months. Which can always be a bit of a risk so early on.
“The last night on our way home, we found ourselves in a dumpy motel in Amarillo I think, we got into a fight about politics of all things and it was our first real fight and Aaron said something like, ‘maybe we shouldn't be together if you are going to think like that,’ and it made me think of what my life would be like without him in it. I realized that I didn't want to find out.” Through disagreements and challenges as their relationship progressed, Jeff saw something special in Aaron. “At the end of the day, this man will fight for me just as hard as I will fight for him. I realized that he was my person.”
Jeff and Aaron got to work planning their dream trip to Europe, highlighting a very anticipated visit to Cinque Terre in Italy. What Aaron was unaware of was that Jeff was secretly planning to propose on the banks of the Italian Riviera. “Jeff dropped down to one knee to express how much he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me as his husband. I was immediately overcome with emotion and love for this beautiful man. As he was proposing, tears of joy streamed down my face, the nearby tourists were cheering and clapping, and it seemed, just for a moment, that time had slowed down,” Aaron explained. “This was the happiest moment of my life and I wanted to soak up every second of it. After Jeff popped the question, I declared my love for him as well and accepted his proposal. He put the ring on my finger and we kissed to seal the deal which made the folks around us cheer even louder.”
After getting engaged, Jeff and Aaron started reaching out to vendors in early January of 2019 to begin planning their wedding. “The first few weekends we had appointments set up, and then we got an email from one of the venues that said, ‘We are believers and we do not believe that your wedding is part of god’s design for marriage so we are not willing to host your wedding at our venue.’”
Jeff and Aaron had contacted the venue through The Knot’s wedding vendor platform, and subsequently, the venue must have made their decision not to host them based off of the email containing two male-typical names. Jeff added, “I hate to think if we had androgynous names what could have happened.”
“Since that was our first weekend trying to find venues, it put a damper on the whole process and we kind of felt like now we had to come out to every single vendor that we needed for our wedding. We had to ask, you know, do we really want to do this?”
The experience of being denied a wedding venue hit home for both Jeff and Aaron. “I was sick to my stomach. I wanted to throw up. Both Aaron and I have been raised in the Mormon Church and this took me back to my young-adult days when I felt as if I was less than… that I didn’t belong.”
Aaron shared what had happened over his Twitter and Facebook accounts, and it wasn’t long before the local news picked up the story. Aaron explained, “We just wanted transparency from the venue and from The Knot, who we contacted the venue through. We didn’t want this to happen to any other couple through their wedding planning process. It’s supposed to be such a fun and exciting time, not like this.” Jeff added, “There was no indication on their website that they wouldn’t accept our wedding. The reviews were all very positive. We were surprised when we received the email from the owner that we were not welcome there. We wanted to make sure that people knew that they weren’t inclusive.”
The bottom line, this shouldn’t be an issue for anyone planning their wedding. Jeff and Aaron’s community agreed.
The knot reached out to the two grooms, investigated the situation and took the venue off their platform and Wedding Wire as well. “The knot was very proactive afterward to emphasize it’s non-discrimination policy and notified some vendors to inform them that if they were discriminating against anyone, that they would be removed,” Jeff said.
As the story snowballed in the media, people started showing up to offer Jeff and Aaron their help. “A whole bunch of people came out of the woodwork and said that this is wrong, and we want to make it right for you.”
Lynn Jackson, a Dallas wedding planner and Michael Bush, a Dallas wedding photographer were among the first to offer their services to Jeff and Aaron for free. “They had worked at the venue the week before, they saw what happened, and it really hit home for them. They wanted to do everything they could to help out and make this right.”
Aaron explained that a different venue quickly found them online and wanted to do something extraordinary. “Whispering Oaks reached out via Twitter and said to us, ‘You pick the date — and if the date is available than our venue is yours!’” Lynn Jackson even shared Jeff and Aaron’s story at a Dallas bridal show and others joined in to contribute to Jeff and Aaron’s wedding, showing their support for the LGBTQ+ community.
As momentum built up around their wedding celebration, Jeff and Aaron truly couldn’t believe the response. “At one point I felt guilty about saying yes to free services, but at the same time, we decided that we wanted to be a platform for the vendors to show the world that here in Texas, people are welcoming and they are supportive of LGBTQ+ people. The community here rallies to help each other out!” Aaron said. “This was just a really open and loving group of vendors on our special day.”
November 17, 2019, approached swiftly. It was a beautiful fall day in Texas. “We were married in the country, the ceremony site was outdoors set in a grove of trees with beautiful fall colors as the backdrop, clear skies and the silent, peaceful sounds of nature.” Jeff described. “It was a perfect day for a wedding. We were both feeling excited and a bit anxious about what was about to happen.”
The ceremony began, and Jeff and Aaron shared their vows.
Jeff’s vows to Aaron, “I promise you that from this day forward you will never walk alone. I will be by your side, your number one fan, I will encourage your dreams and celebrate your accomplishments for in that your soul shines. I will lift you up when you fall and comfort you when you are hurting. I will be your co-pilot in adventure and your partner in all things. I promise to give you the best of myself and to accept you the way you are while always encouraging you to be the best version of yourself.”
Aaron’s vows in response, “The best reasons I love you are for the ones that have made me a better person. Being with you, talking to you, growing with you has made me into the person I am. I am so grateful to have you in my life, by my side, as my partner, and so proud today to take you as my husband.”
The wedding celebration was one to remember. Happy tears turned to dancing as the two grooms celebrated into the night. Now after all has been said and done, Jeff and Aaron are preparing their honeymoon adventure to New Zealand and Bora Bora. “Opposites attract, and I think our honeymoon encapsulates that,” Aaron said. “We are going to be out there all rugged — you know, zip-lining, hiking, all the outdoors stuff in New Zealand. And Jeff loves landscapes, and New Zealand is one of his favorite countries he’s been to. Our second part of our honeymoon will be to Bora Bora which will be on the beach, with tropical drinks in our hands and not a care in the world. High adventure stuff, then all the relaxation afterward.”
We’re excited to see these two depart on their adventures together now as husband and husband, and we’re grateful for all the wonderful vendors listed below that rallied behind this incredible couple to put together the wedding of a lifetime.
Wedding Venue: Whispering Oaks Wedding Venue
Reception Venue: Whispering Oaks Wedding Venue
Lead Planner: Lynn Jackson, Fit & Fab Weddings
Planner & Décor: Catherine Hastings, One Fine Day
Photographer: Michael Bush Photography
Videographer: Chevy Chey Photography
Photo Booth: The Snap Pack
Officiant: Chris Ahrens
Invitation Designer: Stephanie Powell Creative
Printer: The UPS Store
Caterer: Five Star Event Services
Alcohol Caterer: HD Liquid Caterer
Bartending Service: Tilt Cocktail Events
Cake: Posh Cakes by Shane
Cake: Cakettes
Florist: Joche Westmoreland
Outdoor Florist: Catherine Daniels
DJ: Toast Entertainment
Live Music: Seranata Strings
Apparel: Generation Tux
Hair & Makeup: Three Zero Six
Rentals: AM Linens
Servers: JR Events
Servers: Premium Event Staffing
Limo: Prime Limo
Favors: Yelibelly Chocolates
