Evan & JP: Three Time's A Charm
Photography by Ashley LaPrade
In March of 2016, Evan met someone on Grindr and made plans to meet him at a local bar. It was when he stepped into the bar that Evan and JP locked eyes for the first time. But, JP wasn’t the one he had met on Grindr. JP was that man’s best friend. "I was immediately drawn to JP, and JP was also drawn to me, though I totally didn’t know it at the time. Being the good friend and wingman that JP was, he put his own feelings aside and encouraged his friend to go for it with me.”
Evan and JP’s friend dated for about a year or so. During the time, JP and Evan grew close as friends. “Since Evan was dating my best friend, Evan figured that I should date his best friend. You know, besties dating besties, double dates, and all that jazz… Needless to say, things didn’t work out for either couple!” JP Explained. “My relationship with Evan’s best friend fizzled out. Then a few months after my relationship ended, Evan found out that his boyfriend had been cheating on him. Evan’s relationship quickly ended, and so did the friendship between my best friend and I.”
Over the next couple of years, Evan and JP continued to be friends. Since both were teachers, they would get together once every few months or so to do lesson planning together. They always enjoyed catching up with one another… “One day, totally out of the blue, I had a moment in the morning while brushing my teeth. Mid-brush on the top molars, I stopped and thought, “You know, I haven’t talked to JP in a while… I should really get ahold of him.” It was a quick thought, but one that stayed in my head, almost as though someone else had put it there. I continued brushing and went on with my day only to find that right after work that very same day, I had received a text from JP saying, ‘Hey, it’s been a while. How are you?’”
JP and Evan agreed to go out for dinner together that night, but they could tell that something was different. “We both had feelings for each other for years, but we never knew about it or acted on it because we didn’t want to ruin our friendship. The night ended with a ton of tension, but no kiss. After Evan got home, and we immediately started texting again.” Evan admitted that he wanted to kiss him. JP responded, “Well, maybe next time we can try that.” So, they planned another get together, but this time it was actually a date. “I made Evan dinner, enchiladas verdes to be exact, we kissed, and the rest is history.”
Evan and JP continued seeing each other, finally boyfriends after all these years. Their love for one another came quickly and naturally. “Neither one of us can truly remember when we said I love you, or who said it first.” Evan explained. “It always felt like a given.” Evan remembers that during just the second month of dating, he realized that this was the man he wanted to marry. "We were both on his bed listening to A Million Dreams from The Greatest Showman soundtrack, and yes we know it’s cheesy. There was a moment where I looked into his eyes and started crying. It was this feeling of, “Oh…there you are. I found you.” It was so overwhelming. That’s when I really knew.”
In June of 2018, three months into dating, JP flew to Denver to visit his god parents. “This was the first time I ever visited my family in Denver with good news about a boyfriend. Knowing he was the one, my godfather, a jewelry maker, asked to create our wedding rings.”
“When I told Evan that I knew I was going to marry him, he was a little hesitant. Evan had been burned by guys before and was scared to jump into something that serious right away, even though he knew too and was too nervous to say anything.”
JP agreed that he wouldn’t propose to Evan in fear that Evan might not be ready. Evan gained the understanding that he would be the one proposing—that it would be all on him to ask the big question. “Even though I was scared, I knew he was the one.”
From that day forward, Evan began thinking about when he was ready, how he would propose. JP explained, “Evan and I were asked to be part of a styled shoot on August 22nd, 2019. The shoot was actually published here on Men’s Vows! Everything was totally normal, and I had no clue what was coming. It never even crossed my mind that this might be the day.”
Evan kept the engagement rings hidden in his pocket during the entire shoot. “I was so nervous he would feel or see them.” When it was dark at the very end of the shoot, their photo director asked Evan to get on one knee for a different pose. “It was pitch black, mind you.” JP said. “I can’t see anything. Not thinking anything of it, Evan began to slip a ring on my finger. I immediately said, “We don’t need a ring in the night shot. You can’t even see it!” But he kept putting the ring on!”
Evan looked at JP and asked, “Will you?”
Totally confused, JP responded, “Will I what?” And Evan replied, “Will you marry me?”
“I honestly thought he was just doing it for the shot, or to create a mood for the picture. I had no clue until he asked again... for the third time. I said, “Are you serious right now?” And he said, “Yes, I’m serious!” So, of course, I said yes!”
During the day, Evan had his doubts about proposing during the shoot. “I had said to myself earlier, “You know, today just isn’t the day. It’s way too busy on the photoshoot, and we’re just trying to get things done.” But by this time of the night, things had calmed down. Then, when Andrew, the director, asked me to get down on one knee underneath those millions of stars, I knew that this was the moment. I knew the universe was setting it up for me—I didn’t even have to decide when to kneel down! It was so beautiful. There could not have been a more special and perfect moment.”
Now engaged, Evan and JP started planning their dream wedding. A laid-back, less formal, very-colorful atmosphere exemplifying their warm, joyful, happy-go-lucky spirit. JP explained, “The ACE Hotel and Swim Club in Palm Springs was the perfect spot for us. It has that very clean-desert vibe that we love. We originally didn’t think we could make it work, but everyone at the ACE was amazing. They created a new menu for us to go with our more relaxed vibe—sliders and fries with lots of ranch!”
The wedding date was set for February 2nd, 2020. “I know it sounds super cheesy and cliche, but it was honestly the best and happiest day of my life. I told myself I wasn’t going to be “that guy,” but when you’re standing next to your best friend, who knows, loves, and accepts you completely, in this beautiful place with all the people who matter most in your life…It’s indescribable. It was amazing.”
Standing hand in hand with the attendance of their friends and family, JP and Evan recited their vows and promised their love for one another.
“I vow to stay silly, do stupid dances in the kitchen to make you laugh, and share late night McDonald’s, and never tell anyone else. Except for right now.”
“I promise to keep God first, in every choice step, and decision so we know that our feet will land on solid ground.”
“I promise to respect you, support you, and above all else, make sure I’m not just yelling at you because I’m hungry.”
“Your love is relentless, unconditional, and always forgiving. We have been through so much already and we’ve put in the work to make sure that the bones are good. And my commitment to you will never stop there.”
“You are more than anything I could ever have hoped for, and everything that I didn’t know that I needed. You are my teacher, my rock, and my partner in crime.”
JP and Evan exchanged rings, shared a kiss, and for the first time ever were announced as husband and husband. Under the hot desert sun and among the elegant atmosphere of the ACE hotel, their wedding attendees went on to enjoy churros, play corn hole, make s’mores around the fire, and get busy with plenty of dancing. They even had a surprise drag performance by one of their close friends, Ms. Ethylina Canne. “It was perfect, and our planner was on point! It was a day we’ll never forget.”
The celebration went off without a hitch. Evan explained, “I kept thinking, “Is this really happening? Everything is finally done and now we can just enjoy this day together.” I mean, I was overwhelmed the whole day, but in the best way possible. I was overcome with joy, surprise, relief, and most of all gratitude that God had provided for us and brought us to this point together. Honestly, we were just happy all day long. I feel really lucky.”
Both JP and Evan were deeply surprised by the whole experience of the wedding day. They couldn’t believe that everything came together as well as it did, and in such a short time from planning. “It was more beautiful than I could have ever imagined or hoped for. We were blessed to have the most stellar vendors.”
When asked about what advice they would give to other couples planning their wedding, JP recommended, “If you can make some type of wedding planner or planning service into your budget, do it! Having our planner allowed us to be completely worry free the day of the wedding. If we didn’t have him there, I think it could have been a nightmare. We could never have pulled off what he did in the time that he did. He also connected us with our vendors. Even if you can afford a “day-of” planner, it’s totes worth it. Look into it.” Evan added, “1: You don’t need to go over your budget. Girl, no one ever needed that last thousand dollars of designer hybrid roses. There is a way to get the aesthetic and vibe that you want without having to spend extra. You may have to get creative, but there’s a way. And 2: Compromise, compromise, compromise. No one wants a Groomzilla. Take a breath. Your day is going to be great! Don’t let the planning process get in the way of the love you have for your man!”
Instead of a honeymoon, JP and Evan are putting any extra cash towards their adoption fund. “Don’t get me wrong, a honeymoon would have been wonderful, but we can’t wait to be dads. One day, we will definitely go on a honeymoon, hopefully to Hawaii, Europe, or Australia.”
JP and Evan feel extremely lucky to have been able to experience their wedding just weeks prior to the COVID-19 outbreak in the US. “Sometimes, my mom will text stuff like, “You’re married now,” or “You have just an amazing husband.” I think that both of our parents feel a little relieved, honestly. I wasn’t expecting it, but it’s almost like they feel that we’ve found the person who will be there for us for the rest of our lives.”
Venue — Ace Hotel Palm Springs
Photography — Ashley LaPrade Photography
Videography — West Coast Weddings
Wedding Planner — Fete & Finesse
Catering — Ace Hotel Palm Springs
Floral Design — Vaso Bello
DJ — DJ Johnny Chingez
Live Performance — Ethylina Canne
